A meditative rose

… little kids are the enemy. I didn’t say it, NPR did. According to this story on NPR , 3-4 year olds not only provide leading indicators for the intensity and incidence of outbreaks of flu during the season, they are also the driving force behind the epidemic. So I’ve finally found an acceptable reason to keep away from kids … now if only NPR would come up with something for the parents …

In any case, you have been warned …

Following in the trailblazing footsteps of Falstaff and fingeek, I just got back from a wonderful trip to southwest Utah. Traveling within the US reminds me each time how beautiful and geographically diverse this country is - while I wouldn’t live in any place other than a big city, there’s nothing like visiting a state where you can see a fiery red canyon (Bryce) within a 100 miles of a serene yet majestic national park (Zion). Other key learnings from the trip:

- Do not have a double shot capuccino at 11pm, even if the barista adds the second shot for free (my charm and sex appeal at work yet again). You will regret it, and so will those you are sharing a room with, assuming you’re not more considerate than I am.
- In Las Vegas, there is a hotel (just one, I believe) without any neon lights whatsoever. While you will feel suitably proud for finding that one hotel, you might be a little upset by the fact that it looks like a cross between a mansion from a ghost story and a middle-eastern harem. Not to mention the fact that they have a replica of the Scream thrown next to a Monet … apart from the couple of thousand other art replicas thrown together on the walls and the ceilings.
- Do not rent a convertible Jeep Wrangler. When they say ‘convertible’, they mean you need only an hour to disassemble and ‘convert’ it. Not only does it look suitably macho, it actually requires you to be macho enough to do the said task.
- Do not be snobbish about restaurants in small towns. Discovered this amazing little cafe in a town called Kanab, UT - topped off a day spent hiking with a nice filet mignon and a slice of double chocolate cake.
- Plan a little - if you do, you could stay in a park lodge and catch a supposedly amazing astronomy lecture, as opposed to staying in yet another Best Western. Do this even if you think your travel companion is more of a control freak than you are, and you expect him to take care of things that need to be taken care of.
- When a hike has a certain elevation, check to see how many times you cover it - did a hike in Bryce where we touched the bottom of the canyon some three times - so though the map said it involved climbing 900 feet, it neglected to mention you were going to climb 900 feet 3 times.
- If you like nice restaurants, remember that they won’t like you as much if you intend to walk in wearing shorts and hiking boots - getting some nice sushi at the Bellagio looked like it would have been an embarassing experience - we didn’t want to confirm that, so didn’t try.
- Soak in the beauty … and enjoy!!!

Will put up pics when I figure out how.

btw, a warning to my dear friends - any inappropriate comments will be censored

The comments on the post below triggered this - I’m not trying to rub it in, but I feel it’s my duty as a good friend to let these poor souls know what having a life really looks like.

Anyway, so here’s my weekend:
- Friday night: Watch Bergman’s ‘The Silence’. Think about voids in life and people you can’t communicate with any more. Determine not to think about voids in life and people you can’t communicate with any more. Get horribly disturbed, think what a start to the weekend.
- Saturday morning: Go to personal training session at gym. Lech at trainer while he’s trying to give serious fundas on building upper body strength (so will I be able to pin you down and ravish you?)
- Saturday morning contd: Go to farmer’s market held in Lincoln Park, right outside home. Buy (and eat) obscene amounts of fruit (my mom would be so proud)
- Saturday afternoon: Get new haircut. Look gorgeous. Have discussion with Polish eyebrow lady about difficulties of getting a US visa for unemployed, divorced women from ex-communist countries.
- Saturday afternoon contd: Bike to library. Discover another Bergman film that had been put on hold has arrived (Smiles of a Summer Night - seems it won some best comedy award - talk about schizophrenic).
- Saturday afternoon contd (what can I do - full weekend): Go to non-Starbucks coffee shop/sandwich place. Sit on patio and start reading Philip Roth’s Human Stain, of course accompanied by gorgeous soup and sandwich.
Saturday evening: Go for party where I know <1% of attendees. Proceed to scarf down every kind of chocolate dessert known to man.
Saturday night: Go to amazing Jazz club (Green Mill - yes, Falstaff - another place I didn’t take you)
Sunday morning: Put Frappuccino in Starbucks, feel sorry for friends, put blog post.
Sunday noon (still being debated): Desi brunch with friends.
Sunday afternoon: See play at Steppenwolf.
Sunday evening: Go to gym. Try to atone for sins of weekend.
Sunday night: Crib about going back to work on Monday. Also, someone does have to clean the house …

Finally, a play about my life … go see.

I feel so important.

I need new genes. I check too many boxes on family medical history forms. And since I doggedly refuse to get myself checked up, I don’t check any boxes on personal medical history. Did I ever mention how much I admire ostriches?

On a related note, if you were faced with your mortality, what would you spend the rest of the day doing?
a. Carry on with the plans you had - You always knew you were going to die eventually, so how is this news.
b. Make new, more exciting plans - Since you’re going to die, might as well get the most out of life till you do, starting now.
c. Mope around at home all day, then order pizza at night. Kick yourself for not getting a 27th floor condo with windows that actually open.

Brilliant Toothpaste for Dinner

Alternately, to try and appear a little more pseud (stolen … umm .. leveraged from the Black Mamba)
“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.” - Anais Nin

Overheard at Michigan and Randolph …

Desi woman on cellphone: “I would never have sex with a virgin … unless he had good home-cooked south Indian food to offer”

My new best friend

You were supposed to have a commitment problem!! — Sex and the City

Ok .. so that’s my guilty pleasure .. the one time a week my TV comes on.

So maybe the only thing I have in common with Carrie Bradshaw is being neurotic, but I would be as freaked out if an ex decided to take the plunge … also think I would feel better if he got together with some random floozy, rather than someone I could respect. Because that way I’ll just think I had bad judgment, not that I wasn’t good enough.

Aargghh … don’t know why it matters. I don’t even like him very much any more. Though I’m still trying to do the friend thing. Don’t think it’s working. But he cried when I told him I didn’t want to. Don’t know why. Didn’t ask. Just couldn’t see him cry. Don’t know why. Since I don’t really like him that much any more.

Really.

I’ve been thinking recently about how much I’ve changed in the last few years. I sometimes think once you decide to go down a certain road, ask certain questions, you can never go back. It’s like taking the red pill … you can be perfectly happy without knowing the ‘truth’, but once you do, there’s no way you can accept the illusion you’ve been living with. That way, you live a more intense life for sure, though it most definitely won’t be as stable or safe.

But what if you can go back? What if you can go back to looking for contentment and happiness and stability, as opposed to stimulation and intensity? Is it a choice you can make whenever you want, and are we scared to make it, just because it is a choice, and we hate all decisions?

If all you’re ultimately looking for is happiness (please, let’s not get into the suffering vs. happiness discussion - social conditioning or whatever, I do value happiness), does it matter at all how you get it? Is it possible to go back and be happy? In other words, if I chose to get married and live in the ‘burbs, is it possible that I would be happy?